Loving me..

I mistrust the compliments,
I mistrust everyone to a certain degree
But most of all I'm so lonely its like all I can do is scream
Lookin in the mirror starin into my own eyes and hopin desperately that some how some way it'll all be different
That I'll be different and someone will love me
And finally I won't be so alone ,I'll finally be loved for me
Because deep down I know the truth
That loving me is hard even when its just me lovin me..

Inner light

Always remember to let your inner light burn bright.
Even when those around you try to overwhelm you,,
Remember this...
Moths are always drawn towards the beauty of a flame.,
But eventually the brightest light destroys them.

Sometimes

It gets a bit too much sometimes,,
Holding the facade..
Smiling through the pain..
Sometimes your words are weapons,
Your ignorance a shame.
Most times you do not see it
Nor feel in anyway,
How much your actions hurt me.
And drives me so insane.
My acting skills grow weary
My trust in you destroyed
My very facade crumbles
And leaves me lost in pain
Sometimes...

Sorrow

Sorrow doesn't share its warmth
Its not a friend you lean on
Sorrow stands alone
In the midst of your despair
And rejoices in your misery

I am not Afraid

I am not afraid.
Though my enemies wear smiles
And victoriously draw near
I am not afraid.
Though death looks on
And celebrates and cheers
I am not afraid.
For out of darkness shall I flee
For of the light I have seen
And when the morning comes
Fear shall fear me!

No Reason

You don't need a reason to feel sad,
You don't need a reason to cry
You don't need a reason to smile,
To laugh or Love
You don't need a reason.
So be sad when u want to,,
Cry..
Smile and laugh..
But most of all love!
Because though you don't need a reason to love..
Love is reason enough for me.

So Easily Deletable

Why am I so easily deletable??

What terrible deed did I commit in a past life to now be treated this way?

I have tried to accept others no matter their differences

I have tried to be a good friend

I have tried to show and prove to others how much I care

So why this…

Why this constant torment and never-ending pain?

Why this constant degradation

Why am I constantly left to feel inferior and worthless?

I know I have issues and I act stupidly sometimes.

I know I talk too much but truly are those really so bad that everyone around me forgets me when I’m not there?

Why am I so easily deletable?

My greatest desire is to be loved...

How pathetic is that...

Others want princes and jewels

Palaces and fast cars and all I want is someone who wants my heart

I’m so tired of being worthless so tired of being unwanted

I am alone

I am constantly alone

There is no one who truly knows me, and I can honestly say that because no one knows how worthless I feel

No one knows how lonely I am or how unwanted I’m made to feel

I am screaming inside my screams are so loud they are ripping me to shreds.

And no one knows this because the truth is no one really cares enough to look

There is no point to life if you have no one to share it with, no one who gets your madness and understands your highs and lows.no one to joke you out of the bad and dance with you for the good. No one to say yes you’re completely cracked but I love you anyway...

So my life holds no meaning since not even the one I first gave my heart to felt even half of that for me, how pathetic does that make me…

Why am I so easily deletable? And why can’t it work the same for me?

Why can’t I move on like people don’t exist…like I never cared…why can’t I be the one making others feel worthless for a change?

I’m so tired of being the reject, the one no one wants

I stand and look around and even those that are unhappy in love are better off than me, because happy or not at least they have someone, I can’t even find someone I want, willing to date me let alone put up with my craziness and love me..

Forget Coach Carters Thoughts, my greatest fear is that I am inadequate

Inadequate to be loved, to be accepted, if I am too different for this world then why am I here ? What is the point??If no one will ever get me then why is love the one thing I hold most dear...why do I want love if no one can ever love me?

I am pointless.

One might say that every life has a purpose that we all hold meaning, but I am standing at the edge and begging for release

I have never seen the journeys path I merely followed the wind. But now I am standing here and the winds not blowing and still I cannot see.

Truthfully I cannot do it anymore,I have tried, I have been friends to those that are different to me, I have tried to love unashamedly, but I am not accepted. I have never been loved, and that hurts me most of all...

My life holds no meaning without love and I am constantly going without

So tired of the hey ya you’re great and sexy but talkative and crazy and no just friends. And no sorry not gonna happen. I’m chasing dreams holding onto a hope that everyone has a true love that’s meant to be. And right about now reality just caught up with me.

So again I say why am I so easily deletable...

When no one I know and love has ever been deleted by me?