Into the Dark

For a moment I looked into the abyss and all I could see was endless darkness.
Like a stretched out snake,the long line of black was all that lay before me.
Fear of blindness held me still while fear of the unknown kept me silent.
What mysteries lay in the black unknown.what hidden secrets was the dark concealing.
Morbid thoughts began to plague me as the silence engulfed me.
There are No comforting sounds echoing in the distance,no ray of distant light.
There is only the dark and silent abyss before me.
Tormenting me in its loneliness and threats of the unknown.
The thought that there is nothing to fear from the dark slips weakly from my mind.
no words of comfort now are near powerful enough to overcome the reality of this darkness..
I am rendered mute by the very essence of it.
I blink my eyes rapidly in the vague and slim hope that it is simply a mistake..a simple glitch in my optical wiring.
My palms begin to sweat at the lack of any form of support to grasp onto.
Even the air seepin into my lungs seems to be oppressive and thinned by this darkness.
My body begins to feel cold and clammy as my fear starts to gain on me
I feel paralysed.strugglin within myself to manage even the most simplest task of movement.
The dark has me within its grasp
So all consumin
So overwhelmin I'm drownin in this abyss.I want to go back!
I want the light
The noise
Not this!
Not this constant
This bleakness,so powerful so enveloping
Wait!!
Stop!!
Let me go back
I'm graspin for somethin.
Somethin to hold onto
Graspin for air
For courage
For anything to save me from this endless darkness.
Breathe...!!!
I inhale deeply hopin for clarity
Hopin for a reprieve from this oppression.
Yet Still I face this void.
This very dark mysterious void that makes me feel as if its sucking away the very essence of me.
I am afraid
I wanna shout it out loud
Perhaps to forestall whatever predator lays in wait out there celebratin at my fear..relishing in my terror.
Its gettin so hard to breathe I feel as if the black is startin to suffocate me
Squeezin tighter and tighter
It is no longer just visual.
I feel as if the the dark is seepin into me
Takin over my body
Rendering me helpless,immobile and weak.
I feel the weakness within me like a physical pain.
Tears gather in my eyes too afraid to do more then fill and slip silently down my face
I imagine them to be tracks of light highlightin blatantly the power my tormentor has over me..
So afraid to wipe at them ..
How victorious my tormentor must feel
To witness my very submission
While Inside I'm screamin
Wantin to,needin to,not knowin how or what to do !
Help... whispers softly in my mind..
But Who would help me now..
Who could?
No!!
This darkness is mine!
I can do this !
I will!!
I blink the last remnants of tears from my eyes and physically force myself to inhale and exhale deeply.
Now
I must!!
First a finger
It moved...
Swiping gently at my face.
No more lines highlightin my pain.
No more still...
I feel the blood flowin through my veins as if awakened by the simple movement of my fingers wipin away my tears.
I feel my toes wriggling in my shoes lettin me know they're still there waitin.. willin.. Wantin..
I can do this
I say over and over again in my mind till the strength and force of that belief has me utterin it out loud.
You will not win!!
You can not beat me!
This I scream into the black
Its as if a tidal wave of strength and courage is washin over me leavin me empowered and brave.
I take another breath dizzy and euphoric at the realization it no longer feels oppressive.
I wave my hands childishly and freely in front of me just for the freedom of being able to do so
Hahahaha
My laugh echoes into the dark
Its as if the weakness I felt just a moment ago was never there at all
Hahahaha
I laugh again
Ecstatic now at the reality of my freedom
How can it be that just a moment ago I was too scared to even cry out loud??
But this is not the time for questions .
Right now I feel victorious and free
I feel as if I'm about to float away I'm so giddy with joy.
Its time.
Time to move
I've faced this abyss for long enough
And yes it almost beat me
It almost won
But its over now
Now I'm winnin
I'm movin
I gaze one last time into the Dark abyss
I recognize it for what it is,and the power it had over me
But now its done.
Its time is up and in the end the dark abyss failed to consume me.
I smile gently at the blackness
Then confidently and surely turn to walk away almost blinded by the light that was there behind me all along..
And as I walk into the warmth of that light lettin it envelope me just like the dark was doin just moments ago I find joy in the feeling of bein comforted instead of afraid and terrorised.and as my last memories of the dark abyss start to fade and melt away I feel grateful for findin the strength to turn and walk away.I smile
I am at peace :)